I think I arrived at an answer to that last question. As always, alas, it's the mirror. When I myself reach a state of perfection in my own integrity, then I will perhaps be entitled to pass judgment about the integrity of other men. Until then, it behooves me to take a close look at the cracks, small and large, that leave me open to the kind of judgment I am quick to pass on others. I look back on my life and find too many instances where I have betrayed myself and those closest to me, where I have failed to live up to that injunction to "do no harm." All very well to go cantering along on my high horse when others succumb to human failings--and indeed it's important that I recognize transgressions where I see them. It helps me to find compassion, though, when I acknowledge my own.
The hour's silent sit was a challenge for me, with these thoughts popping up insistently in my mind. Still, the breath is a wonderful tool to bring the mind back from where it wanders, and I was grateful for the inner peace I was able to find despite the interruptions. I honestly don't know where I'd be in my life without this resource; but looking around me at the dire state of human affairs, I know that I would be a great deal more fearful, angry and confused.
I left sangha armed with copies of Than Geoff's two newest books, one of which is titled "Selves and Not-Self," which reminds me bit of the original title of my own forthcoming book, "This Is Not Me"--now to be called "Mind Work." The second is "The Truth of Rebirth"--a topic with which I have struggled for many years as a nascent Buddhist, and one that assumes a particular resonance in the light of the recent arrival of a newborn in our family. Does little Luka join us in our current lives from a former incarnation? Where does this miraculous baby come from--and how was it that he chose our family to join? Mysterious questions. And questions I must be content to all to remain a mystery. Still, you can understand why I'm eager to find out more about the truth of rebirth...
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