Help Over Punishment

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

PHOTO: Thich Nhat Hanh's humble abode at Plum Village Monastery in France

His insight is like a bright sunbeam that beats back the shadows and illuminates the pathway for us to see and avoid the rocks that might trip us up along our journey. It takes a great understanding of emptiness and no-self to realize a person making us suffer deserves our help and not our wrath.

I grew up on the edge of the "accepted group." I was your classic outsider. I was constantly shunned, insulted and laughed at for my sensitivity, non-conformist nature, crooked teeth and long neck. I was labeled, "E.T." because of my long neck and bulging, large head. Kids can be so cruel as you know. Then came the pain, suffering and struggles with mental illness. So I grew up with and nourished a "chip on my shoulder" (this means defensive, easily angered and ready to fight for my non American friends).

For a long time I have taken things personally. When someone makes me suffer it has instantly watered the seed of anger and revenge within me and before I knew it I would lash out in relatiation without even thinking. It seemed that my seed for fighting and inflicting anger and suffering upon others for the injustices heaped upon me growing up had grown into a large stinging, thorny plant that didn't need much water to grow.

This was all before I found the Dharma and I have come a long way since. That is not to say I still don't struggle with it because I do. Everyday I struggle with my anger, selfishness and my judgements. Especially in regarads to politics, mental illness and whenever I see injustice. So this quote/teaching is always timely for me.

Wow, what wisdom from this great master. It's like, I've been looking at anger in one angle and this quote is Thich Nhat Hanh's way of making a subtle shift in insight and right view that makes all the difference in the world. Sometimes all we need is someone to say, "See, if you look at the diamond from this angle you see a rainbow of color. Pretty neat huh?" I will be meditating upon this quote often. I am so grateful for all the beautiful, wise teachers whose wisdom has been passed down throughout the ages to us today to benefit from.

I sometimes think that a name for Thay should be "the archer" because his way of conveying the teachings is like shooting an accurate arrow right into the heart of the target.

~Peace to all beings~