The Lowest Form of Humor

We all know, of course, that Barack Obama is directly responsible for this (double dip?) recession. Had he not run for office--and had the temerity to win!--we would never have taken this disastrously socialist path to economic perdition. The wealthy--poor souls!--would still be raking in the wealth, their profits continuing to trickle down in an endlessly munificent stream to the impoverished, who have only themselves to blame for their predicament: it was they who in their crass ignorance elected a man whose primary goal was to destroy this country so that his Muslim terrorist brothers could take over the world!

Today's New York Times headline, "Recession Raises U.S. Poverty Rate To a 15-Year High," comes as no surprise to those of us who are smart enough to recognize Obama's evil intentions and failed policies. Had we only pursued the path that Ronald Reagan--blessed be His memory!--laid out for us; had we only had the good sense to cut taxes for our richest citizens still further than George W. Bush; had we only completed the task of dismantling regulations on financial markets and empowering those corporate leaders who have nothing but our best interests at heart; had we only allowed our oil companies and energy giants to provide for our needs without the stranglehold of government regulation, how much better off we all should be!

So let's return to the straight and narrow this November. Let's elect those untrammeled by knowledge or experience; who'll line the stuffed pockets of the very rich--poor souls!--until they overflow, no longer a trickle but a flood of wealth for all; who'll wisely trust to the munificence of corporations and their lobbyists; who'll finally return government to the hands of "the people"; who'll restore the American health care system to its former profitable glory; and who will save us from the imminent, dire threat of socialism.

Oh, and while we're at it, let's all do what we can to help bring down that tyrannical impostor in the White House, and send him back to the jungle whence he came. Good God, if he hasn't saved the country by now, what does he think we elected him for?

I'm game. Are you?

(Okay, okay. I know that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. But what else is left?)