Words are funny and often times leave much lacking. Words like "perfection," "sin" and "judgement" are mine fields for the middle path traveller. However, I found myself today straying yet again from the cleary marked path right smack into the mine field. I was too busy giving into the siren song hallucinogen of the thought process that I ended up dancing in the mine field. Finding myself caught in my own traps I froze thinking I was really up a creek this time.
How did I get here? Who was the devil who ensnared me? (for it must have been someone other then myself I wrongfully deduced). Well, I was punishing myself through judging my "thoughts" (there's a huge step into the mine field right there). I was punishing myself for "thinking" about "things" (another giant step) that feed the "self." How interesting.
My selfish nature wanted to "punish," "my-self" for not being "perfect." Falling into a void of martydom that only made things worse.
My "freedom" came surprisingly from the very words that confined, judged and punished me in the first place! I was reminded by the whisperings of the Buddha that perfection is already present in everything that exists and does not exist.
"Perfection" as we know it (or at least from my Judeo-Christian upbringing) (if anything) seems to be a holographic prison rather then the path. We can easily break out of a holographic prison but until we "convince" our "minds" that the prison is made from holographic bars and walls then we will forever stay in those cells weeping and wailing that we are "stuck" and/or "lost" from the path when we were still on the path all along.
Perhaps my words in this very entry only bring me back to that holographic prison but somehow I have won my freedom via them so here I stand again back on the path.
Meditating on the following has brought me back more balance, freedom and stability as well:
Nothing to do or undo,
Nothing to be or not be,
Nothing to judge or not judge.
I hope I have not lost you completely with my "thoughts" and musings today.
And yet here I go with some more words:
The Parable of the Hole in the Road:
On the first day... a man walks down a street...
Suddenly the world goes dark. He thinks he is lost.
Then he realizes he is in a deep hole. He tries to find his way out, and it takes a very long time. Once he is out the day is gone ... so he walks back home.
On the second day... the man walks down the same street.
The world goes dark again. He is in the hole again.
He takes a while to recognize where he is. Eventually he finds his way out... and so again he walks back home.
On the third day... the man again walks down the street.
He knows the hole is there and pretends not to see the hole... and closes his eyes.
Once again he falls into the hole, and climbs out ... and walks back home, the day lost once again.
On the fourth day... the man walks cautiously down the street.
He sees the hole and this time walks around it. He is pleased.
But the world goes dark again. He has fallen into another hole.
He climbs out of the second hole, walks home ... and alas... falls into the first hole. He gets out of the first hole... and walks back home... to think.
On the fifth day... the man walks confidently down the street.
He sees the first hole..... and recognizes it.
He walks around it... but forgets the second hole, which he walks directly into. He gets out immediately... and walks straight back home - to weep and hope.
On the sixth day... the man walks nervously down the street...The hole is there and he thinks "I won't fall into the hole again"... and walks around the hole. He sees the second hole, avoids the second hole... but as he passes, he loses his balance... and falls in. Climbing out he walks back home ... taking the time to carefully avoid all the holes. On the seventh day... the same man goes for a walk....
... and chooses to walk down a different street.
-Peace to all beings-
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